Please Excuse my absence but I was in Lebanon for the last two weeks and now that I am back to my other "home" i will tell you about my adventures in crazy land. Sorry the post is a bit long but it's a very personal dilemma i've been facing since i got back and i want to share it with all of you and please feel free to comment.
I went home to surprise my mom on her birthday, after being stuck in traffic from the airport to almost Dbayé, I arrived to Jbeil, 2 hours late well who cares, it's Lebanon everyone's late...
Meeting family and friends is always great, people are wonderful and the atmosphere is so loose and friendly...I was happy...but then it started again, the feeling of being an outsider, a stranger, a bizarre person who wants to teach everyone that they have to STOP AT A RED LIGHT ! Quoting my mom : "chou jeyé trabbé el 3alam ?"
First : In 10 days i felt my life threatened 10 times more than during August war in 2006 !
I almost got killed by a truck on the highway, i almost got killed by a crazy jeep, i almost got killed while trying to walk on the streets, I almost got killed while parking a car, and crossing a Green light, finally I lost 2 to 3 hours everyday in traffic jams, that means almost one day out of 10.
Second: In 10 days i was robbed and conned maybe 3 times per day....I love the fact that when you have to pay 58,500 L.L you never get your 500 L.L back.
I love the fact that you get a small "Ghandour" gum instead of your 250 L.L and when trying to give it back to the same person after 2 days instead of a 250 L.L, she makes a big problem and try to report me to her manager ( but i won, because the customer is always right ;) ) and i love the fact to get the lousiest rental car ( mechanical wise ) ever because i am paying less and not renting a freakin hummer ! People will say : "mech 3a imeton bass anno mabda2", I would say : " 3a imeton w mabda2". because i worked hard for all of this money, and if all of you are losing 250, 500, or 1000 L.L per day just because you don't pay attention imagine it can be 365 L.L per year , it's a month salary for some people, and if :
"mech 3a imeton" , you can still donate them to the Children Cancer Center "
Third: I couldn't post because it rained and connection was cut of course because the wires are made of paper w bi "techho" when it rains !
I will say it bluntly this country is falling apart and in a couple of years it will be a total chaos and it's not because of the politicians or politics, it's because of every Lebanese still voting for the same people, still having the same thoughts as his parents back in 1975, still thinking that they can out smart the radars, still thinking that 250 L.L doesn't have any value, still thinking that bribing the teacher is better than attending the class, still thinking let's shut up and not ask for our rights w bala ma nwaje3 rassna...You want a better country you have to fight for it.
I am so sad to admit that this time i felt like a complete stranger, and home is not home anymore, it's just a place where i can meet my loved ones but nothing more, and I am quite sure that i will not be able to come back and have a normal life in Lebanon again.
Sometimes i think if i haven't left i would not be saying that now but i did leave and see how human beings should actually live and i tried to concentrate on the good and positive things and all i wrote about in "what i miss the most" but this time evil won.
Sad isn't it !?