I have a fuckin’ inspiration problem. I haven’t written anything in ToomExtra for ages and it just kills me. I came back to Lebanon for good few weeks ago and I’m incapable of writing 20 lines since I’m here… while this country is supposed to be a real source of inspiration for a blog like ours!
I mean, just look our dirty sea, our dirty streets, look at the cables polluting our sky (moteur w dish w telephone w te3li2 kahraba), look at the way people treat waiters in the restaurants, look at our mini-salaries, look at people’s eyes expressions… Before moving to Lebanon, I was able to write a book about each one of those details!
I really really admire all the Lebanese writers and artists who can get inspired in this country even with this rhythm of life that doesn’t push people to be productive. The Lebanese society is actually based on the “effortless theory”. What’s the effortless theory? Simple, I’ll explain 3 rules of it:
Rule number 1: Never use public transport: we don’t have any, right? Alright we have some buses and “services” but come on! This is for foreign workers… No my dear friend, instead of that, each one of us will take his own car and give it to the valet parking to avoid the 200m walk… because we just can’t walk for 2 minutes the street to get to our favorite bar… the street is actually radioactive, we have to avoid it… + we’re going to the gym 3 days a week, and we don’t wanna waste more calories for nothing!
Rule Number 2: Never make your own food: you actually have 2 options for not starving:
1- Restaurants: why the hell are they for? You love your country and wanna encourage its economy, so let them cook for you.
2- Mum’s tabikh: why the hell is she for? you love your Mum and wanna encourage her talent and creativity, so let her cook for you.
Rule Number 3: Never ever turn on a washing machine: Mum/Sinkara will do it for you. Have you ever wondered about this machine by the way? That pearl of technology? Have you seen all those buttons on it? Whouwaaaa! You’ll never understand how to open it, put your clothes in it once a week, put a cap of washing liquid and press the button. Thank God using a computer is much easier.
… and this is how, with 3 simple rules, we can preserve our Effortless theory, and protect it against mean foreigners who criticize us just because they are jealous of our life rhythm, our creativity and our IQ level.