5.7.11

Tourist Tips - Part 1 - Lebanon Summer 2011


Dear tourists,
we hope that you will get the best out of this summer season in Lebanon.

We seriously have no clue how our country is still going,
but we know it's a great place, to be in.

That said, we'd like to enlighten you with some special tips
that will help you get the best of of your stay this summer.

Tips
1. No "man'oucheh" is like another, it differs from street to another.

2. Do not show that you are amazed with that "service" you got into
for the first time in Lebanon, the driver probably won't understand a word you're saying,
will smile and charge you triple the regular fare.

3. Forget about anything you've learned about traffic rules,
ours were passed to us directly by our Phoenician ancestors.

4.
Don't try to blend in by drinking Arak with lunch
the way you drink beer back home (wherever that is).

5. "Authentic Lebanese Bistros/Restaurants" in Beirut are all fake,
for real Lebanese generosity, taste and a hint of adventure,
try at least one of those forgotten restaurants in the mountains.

6. Do not discuss local or regional "politics" with anyone.

7. Be prepared for nerve-breaking-mega-super explosions, it's just happy fireworks.


8.
Somehow in the course of our contemporary history
the word b*tch has been mixed up with the word beach,
brace your eyes for some "nice" views/scenes.

9. When meeting new people, avoid anyone who uses the following words in one sentence:

"Hi, sky, yay, cool, man, wow, akhou".

10. A beard is not a terrorist trademark, most of the time nice guys are found wearing it.

11. Garlic a.k.a. "toom" will make everything you eat tastier,
but you will have to stay away from people for several hours.

12. You can add "extra" to anything you order wherever you were:
man'oucheh extra
sandwich extra
service extra
massage extra
and the most important of all:
TOOM EXTRA!

5 comments:

  1. And the gouwwassa?? wel atlantik?? :P ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Sareen: we're here for that! :)

    @Anita: coming soon a surreal post about the ghouwwasa and the atlantayyyykkk :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. HAHAHAHA awesomeness :D Thanks for the laugh :D

    ReplyDelete

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