27.12.12

x(car)=x(ego)

22.01.2013 Updates
It took me a while to update, although the reaction from ABC was quick. Two days after posting this, I get a call from ABC customer's service manager Mrs. R.S ( A very charming lady ) to discuss about the problem, we talked for a while on the phone and she invited me over for a coffee in ABC, I went and we talked, I explained again my point and she told me about the consequences and the measures they took with the parking employees.  Was it all "bullshit" ? I don't know, but I do know that ABC have a great customer service and they do respect your complaints and try to make the service better. 
Another surprise happened yesterday, I got a mail from the Marketing dept. in Boubess group 
(the group behind café de flore, Bob's, Kaiten, Napoletana, The met etc...) because they stumbled upon this post where I mentioned at the end something about "the shitty service in café de flore", it was about something that happened with my friend, and it was really unacceptable, won't go into details, but she'd already taken contact with them, and the problem was solved. But I was very pleased to read this email, and to see that customer service in Lebanon is getting better and better, serious companies are trying their best to please their customers, listen to their complaints and improve their services. 

Great reactions from ABC and Boubess group. 
Original Post: 
I promised I won't nag, I am just stating the facts.
Yesterday we decided to go and see "the hobbit" (again)! The cinemas in ABC dbayeh are great so we decided to go there. Of course after arriving an hour and a half later, I had to find a parking spot. I was searching for the holy grail for about 15 minutes when a light appeared and a white dove flew out in front of me whispering "follow me"... Is it a miracle? Is it magic? I found a spot! 
As I was happily parking, one of the guys who work in the parking lot, jumped in front of my car aggressively and told me: "Sorry mamnou3 el saff hon" / "Sorry, it's forbidden to park here" (it was not one of the places reserved for the valet, but really at the end). I asked calmly why? He said it's reserved and he pointed at a beast coming from behind. Another one of his accomplices was telling a lady in a huge 4x4 Porsche: "Madame, fi saffé honik, rja3é" / "Madam, there's a spot over there, come back". 
So I guessed the lady didn't find this spot, these guys were helping her, which is not their work, they should control the traffic in the parking, help you around, not forbid you to park because they want to give the place to someone else. He was standing now in the middle of the parking spot, I swear I was so angry, I could hit him if Jack wasn't around. I told him: "I am sorry, I found the place, now move away you (insert big insult in Arabic)!". Yes! At that moment I didn't care about being educated and polite.
He didn't want to move and I asked him: "Lei hiyé badda tsof eza ana l2it el mahal? Law ken ma3é Porsche kenet khalaytne sof?!" / "Why can she park here if I'm the one who found the spot! If I had a Porsche, you'd let me park?!".  He told me: "Eh! Law ken ma3ik Porsche kente safayté" / "Yes, if you had a Porsche, I would have let you park here". (I have a small rental car).
I was late for the movie, so I didn't want to make the problem bigger on the spot, I left, I found another spot 10 minutes later and I rushed to customer service downstairs asking to talk to the manager, she met me and was very pleasant, she took my number and told me she's going to take it further... Well I am still waiting for now, will not judge customer service before 10 days ( though I am sure my complaint will be forgotten, I will give them a chance to reply).
Quoting my favorite movie "Fight Club" I would like to tell you:
"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank.
You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet."
If you have a better car than me, that doesn't make you superior. Even though 70% of ABC's shops are not targeting normal class people, and not to mention Café de Flore's shitty service (this is another great story) everyone is allowed to park in the first parking spot they find, and rich people if you really need help to park, there's a valet service for you, give them your car and let the normal people park in serenity. 
ABC I am still waiting for a reply, prove me wrong and show everyone that you still accept normal class citizens visiting you.

22.12.12

كلّ سنة وإنتو بخير!

سنة عم تقلب، ولو شو قطعت بسرعة!
بكل ّعجقة الأعياد (اللي معظمها عجقة فرجة مش أكتر) مننصحكُن تاخدو هالوقت الضايع بالسيارة لتتذكّرو الإشيا الحلوة والبشعة اللي صارت بالـ٢٠١٢، الأوّلة لتنعاد والتانية لتتعلّمو منها.
كمّ نصيحة إكسترا لكلّ الأذواق لتصير هالفترة أهضم:
عجقة سير مش طبيعية؟
تمام، افتحو الشبابيك وتعرّفو على هالبشر حولكن.
ما لحّقتو تشترو "بوش دو نوال"؟
يا لطيف، شويّة فواكة مجفّفة وملبّس على قضامة والسلام!
بعد ما اشتريتو هدايا؟
ولا يهمّكُن، أكتر شي بتكتبو ورقة عليها كلمة حلوة مع تاريخ إستلام الهدية بعد الأعياد (رح يضحك الشخص المعني ويتشوّق أكتر للهدية).
ما في مصاري تشترو هدايا؟
أحلى شي! فيكن تهدو الشخص اللي بتحبّو خدمة أو بوسة أو غمرة أو مساج!
ما بتعنيك هالفترة وما بتحبها؟
ماشي، حقّك! فيك تبوّم لحالك واترك الباقيين مبسوطين بعجقتهن!
شايفني كتير متفاءل وعم يزعجك هالشي؟
ولا يهمّك، فتاح موقع إخباري وصدقني دغري بترجع عالمرارة اللي معوّد عليها وشكلك معلّق فيها.

في أحلى منها ينقلب التعصيب والسمّ من العجقة والغلى والخفق لضحك؟
وحياتكُن ما في شي بيحرز، ولِك نهاية العالم وزمطنا منها!
منتمنّى تضلّو بصحّتكن ودايماً مع الناس اللي بتحبّوهن :)
عيد ميلاد مجيد وعام سعيد، وكلّ سنة وإنتو بخير!

12.12.12

رجع اللقب...

طيب ما يا زلمي هيك خبار ما فيك تخبّيا علينا!
كيف بدنا نحتفل و نعمل كم رشق، و نكب فتيشة تولّع الحي؟ 
والله انا مش حاسّة على شي، إنّو كنت عم بلّش شكّ بس ما تهيّألي ابداً...
قال شو، اسمعو هالخبرية: رجع لبنان سويسرا الشرق! 

كتير تفاجأت صراحة ومع إنّو صرلي شهر هون، لا حسّيت ولا انتبهت.
بعدا العالم بتوقف وراك بالبنك ورح تعدّ معك المصاري او تقّلك مثلاً: "يا زلمي خلّيها علينا"! 
بعدا الميّ بتنقطع مرة بالجمعة ومن صير مجبورين نختار اذا منتحمم او منغّسل التياب أو منجلي الجَليات. 
بعدو السير واقف بالاشرفية لأنّ في حيوان قرّر يصفّ بنصّ الطريق... ما "يلا بسّ دقيقة وراجع والله!"

طيب ما كيف؟ إنّو يا خيّي قلتلي رِجِعلنا اللقب، بس ما فهمت كيف؟
آآآآآن... مستوى المعيشة والاسعار!
هلّق لاحظت إنّو بسّ تشتري أغراض من السوبرماركت بيطلع المجموع متل بس تشتري بسويسرا، أو بس نضهر نتعشّا أو نشرب كاس، ما عم تفرق كتير يعني...
وفواتير التلفون؟ رعب! والكهرباء والبنزين والتياب والـ، والـ، والـ ...

وكل هالغلا بمعاشات لبنانية، معظمها ما بتوصل للألف دولار!
طيب ما كيف عايشة العالم؟ كيف عم بلحّقو قسوطات جامعات وسيارات وتفنطز و أكل خرى؟
سؤال بطرحو على نفسي من ٣ سنين وبعد ما لقيت الجواب، حدا يساعدني افهم...

يا حبيبي إذا بدّو يرجعلنا اللّقب بسّ لأنّ البلد صار غالي ومش لطبيعتنا الحلوة وللطرقات والاخلاق والصحة والسرية المصرفية...
ولك عمرو ما يكون هاللقب! روح علقو على الماتيرهورن* وخلّيا سويسرا مبسوطة في!

N.B: ما عم نقّ، عم إحكي الواقع بعدني بحبّ لبنان.
* الماتيرهورن: إحدى أشهر قمم جبال الألب الاوروبية، بتمتدّ على حدود سويسرا وايطاليا.