So this week’s biggest event is probably the pope’s resignation… this resignation has prompted much speculation about who will replace his holiness.
In my today’s post, I’ll try to imagine what could happen if the pope’s replacement was not conventional.
Note: I mean no harm or disrespect to the church at any point in this post… I’m just making virtual unrealistic assumptions… so if anyone feels offended with my post, please don’t hesitate to comment or send me an email, and I will answer you.
- so what if the new elected pope is… Chuck Norris: then nothing much will change in Chuck Norris’ life… he will continue to cross crowds everyday…
- if the new elected pope is… Quentin Tarantino: then even the Vatican statues will bleed…
- if the new elected pope is… a Lebanese politician: then he will delete “You shall not steal” from the 10 commandments… and may be the “You shall not murder” too… and then replace the word “God” by “money and the supreme Leader” in the “You shall have no other Gods but me” commandment.
- if the new elected pope is an average Lebanese citizen: then the white smoke will stay in the Vatican’s sky from the minute of his election until Jesus’ return… and I’m talking about the burning tires "white smoke", not the pope’s election white smoke, huh?
- and what if the new elected pope is… my grandmother: well I believe that all cardinals and Vaticanians will gain at least 20 kgs each before the end of the year… no one dares/can stop my grandma from feeding people! Even if they can’t breathe anymore!
- and what if the new elected pope is… myself:… well, the bible will have a second volume… called ToomExtra… and all you readers shall be saved! Amen!
PS: I know that the post’s title is lame, but when I came with it, it just made me laugh my ass off… so I decided to keep it.